By Lawson Speaks
A Developing Series
1) Become Traditional
You cannot expect to win the affection of a traditionally minded woman if you are living and behaving in a non-traditional way. You must give up all notions of instant gratification offered by this postmodern, hedonistic world, and embrace manhood, excellence, and genuine growth.
Become the man that your future Tradwife deserves.
2) Prepare Mentally
In the pursuit of a Tradwife, the end goal isn’t simply that you have a wife. In addition to this, she now has a HUSBAND. And what kid of husband will you be? Certainly no one can fully comprehend the level of commitment and sacrifice that the position of “Head of the House” demands, until they are actually in that position, but knowing and accepting that you will be required to sacrifice and at times, dare I say it, SUFFER, for the benefit of your family is a must.
You are in the LEAD, and that means for good or worse
you encounter things first.
3) Prepare Physically
No one can guarantee the future. No matter how well you plan, and what security blocks you set in place, inevitably you will encounter financial challenges of one sort or another. This being said, it is essential that you set those provisions into place. Develop a solid work ethic, and be willing to do the hard things to make things work. You don’t have to start with a large house and 100k in the bank, you just have to have the practicals in place to meet you and your wife’s needs right now, and a goal to increase your provision to meet future needs. Everyone hits speed bumps.
Make smart decisions now, and determine within yourself that you will not quit, no matter the set backs.
4) Think Ahead
What kind of person do you want to marry? Sure, she needs to be traditional, but if this person is going to be your lifelong partner, and the mother of your children, it is important that you are more specific than that. Are you a Christian? You will want your wife to be as well, as she will be raising your children and influencing their morals. Do you want to live a quiet life in the country? Make sure she isn’t firmly set on the big city life. Do you (genuinely) want 5 or more kids? Find out if she does as well. And more than anything, discover now if she is open to your leadership in these areas, or if she is fully determined about a specific issue.
Not everything is a make or break issue, but if you can’t genuinely lead your home in a fair manner, then you are going to have problems.
4) Look In The Right Place
It can be discouraging looking around at the modern world and wondering where all the good women have gone. That being said, DON’T BE DISCOURAGED. Take some time and rule our the obvious. You aren’t going to find your Tradwife at the local bar or club. So where might she be? Even many churches nowadays host a plethora of less than ideal choices. Rather than exhaust yourself looking for the diamond in the ruff, go to the mine itself. Where do good, solid families meet in your area? Perhaps a local farmer’s market? Are there local homeschool co-ops? If there are, then there are surely good women in their early 20’s who once attended them. Find out which churches host them, and plan to attend their services. She probably still worships there. Also keep in mind that smaller, more rural churches tend to be more traditional both theologically and otherwise.
Remember that you are after a traditional lifestyle here, so be willing and ready to engage with and build relationship with her whole family once you find her.
4) Set The Tone
What do you want your relationship to be like? What is acceptable? What is normal? What is occasional and… what is never? Like it or not, this is not going to be some cosmic accident that just falls into your lap, and your picture perfect life just happens. No, YOU set the tone, Tradman. Not your lady, not her parents, not circumstances, hormones, finances, or the alignment of the stars… You. OWN your relationship with her. Is prayer going to be a normal part of your life with her? That’s on you. Waiting for the wedding ceremony to consummate your Covenant? That’s on you. Yeah, that’s what her Dad expects, and more than likely if the issue is pressed, she will draw a hard line in the sand with you…
But is that what you want in life?
Is this how your marriage is going to look?
Is her father going to be leading your home, or are you? Are you going to wait for things to come down to the line for your lady to be forced to step up and enforce your own morals? Or are you, as the man in the relationship, going to set the standard for your life? Step up and show her that you aren’t going to put the weight of such things on her. You aren’t going to wait around for her to enforce what you say you believe is right. You aren’t here to play games. You are serious about your intentions with her, so let her know right now that you aren’t going to be aimless about the direction of your relationship. Communicate through your actions that you wouldn’t dare put the weight of such things on her. You are setting the tone of your relationship. For good or for bad, actively or passively, with intention or on accident, you are the one that determines what is normal between you, and ultimately what will be the standard in your marriage. What message are you sending her with your example, NOW?